Chill the Fuck Out

I’m a pretty intense person.  In the last month I’ve tackled some pretty rad stuff – and I’ve done it with vigor:

• Intermittent Fasting (only east between 1pm-9pm)
• Helped raise $12.3M with Zeo
• Crossfit
• Kitesurf in Nicaragua
• Started writing a book – Sleep is Awesome!
• Learn to climb Ice Waterfalls

But am I approaching life with the right perspective?  Am I trying too hard?

I met someone pretty rad while I was kitesurfing in Nica – she has an entirely different perspective on life.  Jessica Winkler made a huge life change about 4 years ago – from a conventional uber-successful white-house with a picket fence life into a super-rad world traveler and kitesurf instructor (the first kite school in Nicaragua!)  And she is one of the happiest and most fulfilled people I have met (not to mention the impact she has on others…)

She gave me the following advice (in a nutshell): Chill the fuck out

It started with an observation as she was teaching me to kitesurf.  When you crash a kite (happens pretty often for me…) – the next step is re-launching the kite from the water.  The instructions are pretty simple.  Relax – let the power out of the kite.  Swim until you are at a 90 degree angle to the kite.  Gently tug on one of the lines until the kite launches.  Let the kite do it’s thing – it’s supposed to relaunch – just let it and help it a bit on the way.  What do I do?  Kite hits the water – and I start pulling and yanking and trying to FORCE the kite into the air.  More MUSCLE.  More POWER.  CONTROL the kite!  Shocker – it didn’t work.  I was trying WAY too hard.  As we ended the day with a few beers on the beach – we extended this metaphor to the rest of my life.

Jessica described to me the way that some of the people she most respects operate.  They are hugely successful – but they also have a beach bum mentality.  Her perfect example: Richard Branson (I need to read his book).

In Jessica’s words – Branson sits back and chills – and watches others run around like chickens with their heads cut off making deals, working like crazy, and testing the waters.  From his chilled, outside the fray perspective – he is able to see opportunities that everyone is running right by.  Then he lays some chips on the table and has a huge win.  He doesn’t force things, doesn’t over-control things, and knows how to relax and rejuvenate.  Even more important than success – this perspective brings happiness and fulfillment to Branson as well.

Me?  I try to muscle things.  If I just think harder, work harder, apply the right techniques – I’ll WIN.  Hence Jessica’s advice – in business and in life – chill the fuck out.

When it comes down to it – many of the people who’s advice I admire come to the same conclusion in different ways.  Tim Ferriss found that working only 4 hours a week allowed him to gain perspective and balance – and be killing it at the same time.  One the entrepreneurs who I deeply respect (Daniel Putterman of PogoPlug) has an amazing balance in life beyond business – family, exercise, and healthy time off.  Julien Smith and Johnny B Truant are great examples too – these guys live by their own rules – and people naturally gravitate toward the pure life force that results.  All these guys are hugely successful and happy as hell.  So many of the other successful people I work with have wrecked home lives, live unfulfilled, and are unhappy without the constant crackberry action that keeps them going.

So what does this all mean?  Honestly – I don’t know.  I still want to Become Fucking Awesome.  But maybe chilling the fuck out is actually going to propel me there – rather than a maniacal pursuit of progress at all costs.  I’m going to let this one chill for a bit and get back to you.